What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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