Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
