make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
