She said her name was "party"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
