i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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