You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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