Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
