i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize