How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
we made out on top of his cat.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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