I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
