I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
