I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
