I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
