at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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