so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
