Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
