it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
