someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize