She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
