I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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