Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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