is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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