you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
