I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
