my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
