I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
