He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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