how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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