Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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