You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
