In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
