I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
