yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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