So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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