I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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