I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just invented taco cereal.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
