i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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