I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize