? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
