It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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