i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize