if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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