you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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