I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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