Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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