then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
