Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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