Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
