Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
