i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
sex in a hospital.. check
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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