You really coming over, don't trick.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
