the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
