i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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