you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
