i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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