who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
