My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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