Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
